Oh dating, what an interesting concept established since the beginning of time, although I’m pretty sure conceptually it has changed over time. Actually I think it was a lot easier back in the day of the cavemen. When you wanted a women, all you had to do was take a club to her head and drag her all across town by the hair to show you both were now a couple. Anyways, dating is a completely strange yet exciting experience that we all love to hate, and yet we still put ourselves through it.
To me, dating seems like it should be so easy, the process is so simple, sure I am talking from a guy’s perspective but it will have to do. You meet a cute girl, you talk to her for a little bit, you are suddenly interested in her. In the moment you get her number and ask her out. After several dates and you finally get to know the girl, you fall in love, date even more, eventually get engaged and get married. There is a lot to the process, but simple enough nonetheless. Sure it looks simple on paper, but it sure is a lot more complicated than that. You have to ask yourself “does she like me?”, “why does she not answer her phone when I call?”, “is she actually interested in me or just doesn’t know how to say no?”, “what am I doing wrong?”, “when should I take it to the next level?”, etc. Dating is some tricky stuff.
I’ll be honest, before my two-year mission to Brazil, I basically went on three dates and all of them were to high school dances. I wasn’t really interested in dating at all and to tell you the truth, girls had cuties back then! When I got home when I was 21 and my mission president pumped in to my head all sorts of concepts of marriage and my sacred duty to get married, I all of the sudden was interested in dating. Yeah, that was interesting asking a girl out for my first date home. I think I made every mistake in the book, I have progressed a lot since then. My point, dating is a game of practice. When I first got home I had no idea how to ask a girl out, what to do for a date, how a double date worked, etc. Now I feel like I somewhat get it, but that took a lot of dates between getting home and now to actually figure it out. I still don’t feel like I know a lot about dating, but I certainly know a lot more.
Man, I have some weird stories. I once randomly asked out my bank teller out because of the mere thought that she was cute and we flirted a little bit. That date was fun and she was a cool person. She was the first person I asked out on a second date, and turned out to be my first rejection for a second date as well. I learned how to take rejection and actually realize that she wasn’t denying me because something was wrong with me, rather she wasn’t interested. I think I’ve learned a lot since then that you are going to have a lot of first dates and a lot of those dates are not going to become second dates just because you or the other just aren’t interested and it is as simple as that.
Can I say something, don’t ask people out via text (unless it is something quick like ice cream I guess). Funny story, so there is this cute girl I met after I got home, I talked to her and few times and decided she was cool. We are in the same ward (for those of you who don’t know, that would be my church congregation). On a beautiful sunny day, I was outside studying and out of the blue I received a text message, it was from I number I didn’t recognized but the person stated her name in the text. So after a few quick messages I put the number in my phone with her name and left it at that. Several weeks later I decided “hey, it would be cool to go on a date with her.”, so I texted her asking her to go out with me that weekend with a large group of people in our ward, it was late at night and I imagine she was tired, but she responded yes. The day of the date I called to confirm to see if it would still work out. “Hello?” says a deep man’s voice “uh, hi, is *blank* there.” I said.
“Yes, this is him.”
“Oh, I must have the wrong number.”
After a quick search of the ward directory of phone numbers, I discovered the number I had was not from the girl I thought I had asked out, in reality it was from a guy who has the exact same name she had. Hilarious! After the shock and embarrassment I found out this guy thought I was inviting him to join the group date with his own date. Lesson learned: don’t text people to ask out on dates, you might be texting a man!
In the end I am still trying to figure out how the whole dating thing works and I am learning my lessons through messed up experiences. Dating is fun yet horrible at the same time. As I have heard from several married people “I am so glad I don’t have to date anymore.” As they should be, they already did their time going through all the drama to find their spouse. Another thing I heard from a friend “If my wife died today, I would stay single just so I could escape the horrible mess that is dating.” That’s encouraging! Oh well, right now I am enjoying dating and I am going to keep doing just for the sake of going on dates. Who knows, maybe my time will come that I can say with my beautiful wife in my arms “dating, thank goodness that’s over!”
