Wedding Receptions

Just as a reference, there are big differences between what I call a Utah wedding reception and a regular American wedding reception. The regular American wedding consists of a large room, such as a chapel with a lot of pews, a long procession of people, and the song “Here Comes the Bride”, well, that is what we called it when I was a kid. After that there is a large dinner where the bride and groom along with their families sit at a large table in front of the room and people toast one another for hopes of a great marriage. Then after that there is usually a wickedly awesome dance party.

The Utah wedding reception is nothing like this. A good number of people in Utah are members of the LDS church and many of them get married in an LDS temple where it is a very solemn ceremony with few people in attendance. After that everyone goes over to a large building or outdoors, the bride and groom stand in a long line while everyone they know and do not know come over and shake your hand and tell you how great you look. The people in line basically sit there for eight minutes to wait for this five second opportunity, they then go over and grab some cake, talk with their friends for five minutes about maybe asking the bride’s maid or the best man out, and then leave. Let’s just say I find Utah receptions lame.

Why do we put ourselves through this torture? I can only talk on the side as a guest, but seriously. I am now at that age where many of my friends are getting married, so I am going to a lot of wedding receptions, especially Utah ones. I get boarder every time. I go sand stand in a line, give the bride and groom my corny congratulations with my strange humor, I go get some food, and then have an awkward ten minute conversation with the bride’s uncle who I have never met in my entire life, and then leave. I go to these receptions to show support for my friends and their new spouses but is that my only logical reason to put myself through so much?

On the bright side, wedding receptions are always happy, everyone is nice, and there is always some crazy funny guy doing something insanely humorous. But hey, in the end the receptions exists just to let all the old people you have known since you were a kid come over to say “my, look how much you’ve grown, I remember when you were this tall and you set fire to my lawn.” So let’s continue this tradition for the old people!